Sharing is Healing --Ames

where sharing IS healing!

Information for Family & Friends:

 

How to Help

 

1.   The most helpful thing you can do is to take care of  yourself first and do not get caught in their drama.

      A. Be honest and genuine with the person about your feelings

      B. Model self-acceptance and good eating habits

2.   Gather information

      A. What is it that leads you to believe the person has an

            eating disorder?

      B.  Is it weight loss, excessive exercising, vomiting, laxative abuse?

3.   Learn about resources (referral list at end of packet)

4.   In a caring, gentle and non-judgmental way, approach the person about whom you are concerned.  Early detection can make a big difference in treatment, so DO NOT WAIT!

5.   State "I am concerned about (the observed behavior).  This may be a symptom of anorexia nervosa or bulimia.  Here is information about where to get help with this.  I will help you get, or do what I can to make it possible for you to go."

6.   If the person decides not to get help, and you are confident that the problem exists, assess what your options are.

7.   When you have no further options, be friendly and open to the possibility that the person may want your help in the future.  Do not support the person's unhealthy behavior or attitude, yet still accept the person.  Be honest about your assessment, but when you have done all you can,  it is important to recognize that fact and back off.

8.   Recognize that friends and relatives cannot cure the person.  Do not force the person to eat or monitor eating activities.  Require the person to take responsibility for his/her actions.

9.   Try to focus away from eating and weight and encourage activities and ways of relating which add to feelings of self-worth.


try to...

     ask questions rather than assume and listen, listen, listen

     offer referrals

     appreciate their openness and trust in sharing their distress with you

     share your own struggles, be open and real.  Be you

     support and be available

     give them hope that with help, patience and some work they can free themselves from this disorder

     recognize their strengths!!!

     know that people who are malnourished often function at a lower mental capacity than they would if they were healthy.  Therefore, reasoning with someone with an eating disorder may not be effective.

     recognize that attempts to cover up the eating disorder is part of the disorder; do not take it personally.  Shame and denial is often experienced in association with the eating disorder behaviors.

 

try to avoid...

     telling them they are crazy

     saying "you're so thin!"  to an anorexic - this is the ultimate compliment to him/her and only reinforces the destructive behaviors

     saying "I wish I could have anorexia, just for a day or two."

      - most people with eating disorders would not wish it on their worst enemies,  it is painful and difficult

     following them around to check their eating or purging behavior

     ignoring or rejecting them

     telling them to quit this ridiculous behavior - it's not that easy or they probably would have done it

     feeling compelled to solve their problems

     treating them as if their worth as persons depends on how thin they are

 


created by Michelle Roling updated Spring 2025

Web Hosting powered by Network Solutions®

Home

Our Staff

About Michelle

About Shawn

Therapy Friends

Diversity and Inclusion

Policies and Procedures

Life Skills Mentoring

Fees

Package Options

Service Location Options

Therapy Services

Who? What?

Certifications

Teletherapy Sessions

Clinical Style Defined

Treatment Team Needs

Feedback- from Clients

Schedule Appointment

Scheduling Guide

Presenter/Trainer Service

Feedback from Attendees

Presentation Fees

Supervision Services

Lifelong Learner

ProfessionalPresentations

EVENTS: learn/advocate

Forms of Payment

Private Pay

Scholarship Information

Scholarship Application

Handouts, ideas & tools

ACT

Anger

Anxiety

Art Interventions

Body Image

CBT

Communication

Coping Skills

Values

DBT

Depression

Dissociation

Eating Concerns

EMDR

Emotional Regulation

Guilt/Shame

Intentions

LGBTQ

Neuroplasticity/Brain

Relationships

Self-Esteem

Time Management

Trauma

Advocacy & Media

ED Coalition of Iowa

Tribune 09

Newsletter

EDAW 2010 Radio

EDAW 2010 Tribune

WHO TV 2008 Anorexia

Tribune Rock your Body

Two Minutes with Michelle

Unraveling the Complexity

What is an ED

Picking the Wrong Fight

Substance & ED...

YouTube PsychoEd Clips

Event Planning Examples

RESOURCES

ED-books

ED- links

ED Intensive Treatment

How to Help- ED

Self-harm- links

Self-harm- books

Mood links

Mood-books

Wellness-books

Referral Options

Contact Us